Love is Love

So i've gotten those looks before. Although alot less than before. A look like why is a this black women holding hands with a white man? Let me say that i don't personally care what people think about me. But from the beginning i've gotten these looks. I've even told very few man that i wasnt interested because i wasnt attracted to them. I've gotten the "Are you serious ma?" or "You don't know what you're missing" or my personal favorite one, The Blank Stare like i have five heads. I don't care. Since i've started liking boys i've always been drawn to the ones who looked nothing like me. I.E. White, light eyes. I don't know why i feel like this but i do. Deep down im sure it stems from childhood trauma but i like it. I'm used to the looks. The stares. The comments. I know interacial relationships are so more common now but when you're in certain areas you still get those looks. Especially when that said man is blasting dancehall and knows every word.lol. I don't mind those looks anymore. I love them actually. How could you not? If my life is so important that you have to care who i'm in love with than great. It makes me feel special. White man are who im attracted to. My fiance is white and i love him for everything he is, not just his skin color. Love is love and color has absolutly nothing to do with anything.

Job Interview

So i had a job interview for H&M today. Hopefully that went well. Thought id post my look cause i actually put eyeshadow on today which never happens in the summer cause its so hot. Me and the fiance have been spending a rediculous amount of time together which his dad doesnt really like but oh well. I have also decided on the colors of the wedding and we've officially set a date for April 15, 2012. I've asked my maid of honor and one of my bridesmaids but i dont know who to choose for my other one. I'm thinking of asking my hair dresser cause we're really close even though she's my hair dresser. We have a weird relationship.


And this was my face of the day from Friday when i spent the day waiting for Rob to get off work.

That's the albanian flag cause his adoptive family is albanian so he considers himself the same. Im probably going to be updating with more wedding stuff as soon as i get some other things settled, such as a job..lol.

Until next time.

This weekend

So this weekend i went fishing. I dont fish, i just sit there and watch them fish and i take pictures of whats going on and incase he catches a fish. Which he hasnt but im there just incase he does. He was soo close to catching one on saturday morning but the fish spit out the hook.


This was at like 430 in the morning on saturday. We were up at 3 to catch the tide. Let me tell you, it was freazzzingg. I was freazzing. Then when the sun actually came up the husband took off his sweatshirt and gave it to me because i was still freazing. But him and his cousin found a bunch of clams for live bait for later in the day.



The rest of these pictures were from later that day when we all went to deer island and walked out onto the jetty so that they could go fishing. Again, i was cold as all hell. Babe thinks i have anemia or something cause im always cold. So we had matching tops on. It was cute. I had his machine tech sweatshirt and he had the actual shirt on. It was pretty cool to be out there.




And then babe found this and gave it to me. It was the cutest thing.


It was fun. I've spent a ridculous amount of time with him now. And we're really enjoying it. And he's changed. For good. Hes alot more attentive and sweet and doesn't take me for granted anymore. I love it. And im really excited for 2012. Hopefully it will be before that. But we'll see.

Giveaway :)

Ewwwitsnikkis snorg tee giveaway

(click the picture to be taken to her blog)

I need something new

I need something new. Facebook is boring now. Myspace is played out. Ughhh.

BTW Planning sucks sometimes.

That is all

Dueces

Photography

So, yesterday i went out with Emily. She's the best person in the world. Mad chill. It was nice to talk to see her. We went to castle island near my house and just hung out and took some pictures. I felt really inadequate compared to her because she had this awsome camera i only have my point and shoot. One day i will. The pictures came out nice cause it was during the sunset over the water. I like em. No editing only because i dont have photoshop or anything. These are raw shots. I think they turned out pretty nice. I'm proud of myself.

To You,

You are the one thing on my mind recently.I will never forget about you. If you would have looked more like him or me. If i made the right decision. I do hope you forgive me. I swear on everything i love i thought it would be best for you. If you knew what i had to deal with i doubt you would have wanted to be here for that. I know they say that it would have been love either way but i never wanted to put you through this. I Love You. Undoubtly. You will be here when the time is right for both of us. I hope you understand. I really do. I think about you everyday and hope you are doing well. I know its weird to be writting about this, but i need to. I have to. I know you won't read it but i can't keep it inside all the time. That had to be the hardest thing i've ever had to do. To give you up. To let you go. I knew that later in life i might regret it. I hope you forgive me. I hope you still know that mommy would have loved you completly. mommy loved you when i found out that you were inside me. And so did daddy. I know that much was true. By this time i would have had you in my arms. Walking up to your smiling face..hard to imagine but i was looking forward to hearing you cry..lol. To whoever you would have been i know you would have been great. I still love you and think about you everyday. I hope you know that. I'm sorry. And i hope you forgive me for what i have done. One day you will understand. I hope. I Love You.

Sincerly,
Mommy
June 25, 2010