I miss him

On sunday, i lost one of the most important people in my life. I've been holding most of my feelings inside because i suck at expressing myself. My grandfather meant the world to me. He was more like my father than my grandfather as i grew up. Him being gone hurts me so much. I cry randomly and even though i know he's not suffering it is amazingly hard to know hes gone. I'm so heartbroken and recently all I've been doing is cooking. I don't know why but that's all. Jesse's been with me and has really helped me cope recently but i don't know. It's so weird without him here. I knew he was going to pass on at some point but i never thought it would be this soon. He has been the reason for me doing everything i have done. He was my inspiration. The person that has made me strong. And i know he was proud of everything i have done and everything i will do. And i know everything will be in memory of him. Recently i haven't been sleeping as well as i used to and i guess i had so much more to say to him. Growing up we didn't have the normal grandfather/daughter type of relationship i guess but i was proud that he was mine. He taught me alot about hard work and i will always owe that to him. His love for his wife and children was something that i will try to duplicate. He fought to make my life better in war and his own life and i am eternally grateful for that fact. He will always be my hero. In my heart he will live forever. May you rest in peace grandpa. I will love you forever. [Gilbert Law Mitchell 1927-2009]

How quickly things change.

So, i made a mistake. Me and him broke up, something about his ex girlfriend. It's ok. lol. But times change so fast. Because the man that makes me simply happy while laying in his arms is the man has been in front of me the whole time. I smile all the time when i'm with him and when i'm not with him. He waited patiently for me to realize that underneath it all i wanted him. And he calls me kanga which i think is super cute. He's had my heart since the beginning and now its official. Sometimes you need something to fall apart before you can find out that something you wanted was right infront of you the whole time. <33333