30 Day Blog Challenge-Day 7

Day 7 - Your dream wedding

Since im actually planning my wedding this one is pretty easy for me. I'm all about simplicity. Everything relaxed and easy. No stress. No fuss. No extra stuff. Black and white with red and silver accents.

Isnt it beautiful? It's called Glen Magna Farms in Danvers and thats where i want to have it. It was going to be on a beach but since my grandma can't walk on sand it's easier this way.

I don't want to buy a normal wedding dress because its cheaper to buy a normal white or cream or ivory dress and i want to wear these cause i don't really do heels that much and Rob doesnt want me to be taller than him so this is the next best thing. And i want to be casual and relaxed. That way i can dance allllll night and my feet wont hurt :)

On other news

 I GOT A JOB!!!!!!!!!!!!! Almost a year later i finally have a job. It's a temp position and i pretty much work when i want to. I'm going to be working for this company called event temps where i help cater events. I want to become a waitress until i figure out what i want to do with my life fully and it will be a great way to get experience.

Me and the Fiance went to see The Town on Sunday for our anniversary. Oh Emm Gee, it is so good. I loved it. Some funny as hell parts too. Ben Affleck is an amazing director on top of being a great actor. And because he's actually from boston he doesn't have to fake that lovely boston accent some people seem to have. So i recommend it if you haven't seen it. It was filmed in Charelstown and all over boston so you pretty much get to see the lovely city i live in. Jeremy Renner is fucking hot to me. And it is true. Charelstown is the bank robbery capital of the world. The most bank robbers have come from there than any other place in america. Oh well. Lol. Go see it. Its amazing.

30 Day Blog Challenge-Day 6

Day 6 - A photo of an animal you'd love to keep as a pet.

This is probably going to sound weird. But i have an obssession with big cats but i can't stand small animals most of the time. I've had fish, turtles, cats and dogs but i refuse to have mice, hamsters, snakes or anything like that. It's weird. So in that sense i woul love to have a Snow Leopard. I love them. They look so majestic. I mean, how can you say no to this face. If they ever find a way to domesticate an animal like this i will be more than willing to buy one.

Today is me and my fiances anniversary so i wanted to get this post out fast before we actually went and did something. Tomorrows post most likely wont be from the 30 day challenge but i still want to post something. 

I love you babe. Thanks for sticking by me while i go through a shit load of this stuff. You are the best.

30 Day Blog Challenge-Day 5

Day 5 - A photo of yourself two years ago.

Ahh yes, i had just chopped off all my hair, dyed it jet black and was super happy with it. This was at the end of 2008 i believe right before things started going completly crappy and downhill. I was wearing my ex boyfriends chain and sunnies. Oh well. You live and you learn right?

30 Day Blog Challenge-Day 4

Day 4 - Your favorite photograph of your best friend.

Ahh, my best friend. I actually have a few best friends. Is that okay? I don't care. I'll have as many friends as i want..lol. But I'm only putting up one because i don't have many of my other ones.

That's my baby with the fish(one of many) he caught this summer and his kayak. He loves fishing and he's happy while he does it. He does the whole catch and release thing because he just like catching them. He wants other people to be able to catch them too. That's why i love him. When hes determined, hes determined. lol. I love you pumpkin.




Oh, and thank you to everybody who's following me now. I appreciate it. It makes me feel loved. Big Hugs :D

30 Day Challenge-Day 3

Day 3 - Your idea of the perfect first date

Anything where you get to have fun and talk to each other. No more first dates for me though. Although we still do things like this on occasion. It's all about keeping the love alive and still having fun with each other. I mean in high school all we would do is go to movies and stuff because you spent all day together at school but now that I'm an adult and doing adult things i want something a little bit more fun.

I'm also a big baseball fan Go Red Sox so if it's baseball season that would be awsome. It would be even cooler if it was during the playoffs and we got tickets.

30 Day Blog Challenge-Day 2

Day 2-A picture of something you ate today

Roasted Chicken and Potatoes. OMG it was good. It looks distorted and stuff in the pictures but it was delish. Blackberry cameras aren't the best but I love this phone. My addiction. :)
Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®

30 day blog challenge

So I thought I'd give it a try and see how long it lasts for.

Day 1-A photo of yourself and a description of how your day was.

Today was alright. Didn't do much but chill and help my mom out around the house. I miss my fiancee(is it with one or two e's if its a guy? I don't know much of the proper ettiquete.) seeing as we don't live together yet. Not until we get married. But yeah. Day 1-accomplished. Only a 29 more days to go..lol.
Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®

Spirituality, Religion and Body Modificiation

So the other day i was watching The View i believe and there was a news story about a young girl who was being suspended from school because she had a nose piercing and supposedly it violated her school dress code. She says it goes against her first amendment right seeing as she is a member of The Church of Body Modification. Now i have never heard about it and seeing as i am one of those people that likes to research anything and everything that interests me i googled it. Now I'm not big on religion whatsoever and i hardly go to church unless i have to for some reason. I consider myself an agnostic (i don't say that god doesn't exist i just can't say that he does without some type of evidence that he does in a nutshell and because nobody can tell me that they have seen him or her i don't have the evidence i need). Anyway, i looked up the church and read the mission statement and it said

"We, the congregation of the Church of Body Modification, will always respect our bodies. We promise to always grow as individuals through body modification and what it can teach us about who we are and what we can do. We vow to share our experiences openly and honestly in order to promote growth in mind, body, and soul. We honor all forms of body modification and those who choose to practice body modification for any reason. We also promise to respect those who do not choose body modification. We support all that join us in our mission and help those seeking us in need of spiritual guidance. We strive to share a positive message with everyone we encounter, in order to act as positive role models for future generations in the body modification community. We always uphold basic codes of ethics and encourage others to do the same. We are a dynamic community, always growing and changing, continually promoting safety, education, and experience in body modification."

And i do believe that getting a piece of metal stuck through your body or to have a needle repeatedly stab through your flesh to put a piece of art or words or whatever it may be permanently on your body is pretty spiritual. Personally, it kind of puts me in a trance when i get them done. I love it. I love the feeling. The way it looks when done properly. The beauty of them. The fact that you can pretty much wear your heart on your sleeve(or arm, or neck, or leg or whatever it may be). I have this obsession with them. The fact that you have to prepare yourself for that initial pain. It's beautiful. Deciding that you want to change something about yourself is a focus. It's not like changing your hair color or the shoes on your feet. You can change that if you don't like it. Getting a piece of art placed on the outside of you body can be done beautifully if done correctly. I love every one of my tattoos and piercings and i know that later in life when I'm old and gray and saggy i won't care. To be honest I'll still probably show them off. All of them show dedication to certain aspects of my life. My "Twitch" one stands for my time in the navy. My "what goes around comes around" one stands to remind me that everything i do will be returned to me. Good things come to good people. Like attracts like. Karma is a bitch. And my last name is just that, my last name. It's beauty to me. It's my connection to my family where ever i am. My maiden name. Because when i am officially married i will be taken my husband to be name. And i will be getting both his first and last name as a tattoo on my body. Why? Because he will always be my first husband and i will always be his first wife.

Body modification pretty much means anything that changes your body or appearance. There are tattoos and piercings. Scarification. Implants.Amputations. Corseting/Waist Training. Ear cropping. Elf Ears.And Tongue Splitting. So now you know my opinion.

It's all a little bit crazy in here

Let me preface this by saying that I'm not complaining about my life. I know it could be worse. I could be homeless or have a missing limb or something. I understand that. I just need to vent somehow.

Have you ever woken up and felt like you wanted to just close your eyes and hope that everything is a dream? I feel like i had everything in my life for the taking and because of some stupid decisions i made i have nothing now. Which i guess is kind of true now. Yes i have a roof over my head but i was doing so much better for myself two years ago. I had a amazing job that i was relatively happy at, making a decent wage with some amazing things going for me and now it seems like i have to start all over again. It's hard. Especially in this economy. All i want to do is wake up and hope that this is all a dream. I still have psychological issues regarding my ex boyfriend and the fact that i would have had a baby right now. Things like that stick with me. No  matter how hard i try to not let it affect me it does. Don't get me wrong i love my fiance. He is an amazing man and even after everything we have been through together in this short year relationship i wouldn't trade him for the world. I just wonder sometimes about everything else that would have happened in my life if i had stayed in Vegas. If i had had the baby. If i had married my ex. But things happen for a reason so i try to think about the good things in life instead of all the bad.

I also feel like with all my medical issues i need to get those things situated. I need to go back on my medications. To go back to therapy. Not because i think I'm crazy but because i wake up some mornings wanting to just kill myself. I know, how dramatic right? But I'm serious. I've even gone as far as figuring out how i was going to do without endangering anybody else. I know some people might think suicide is selfish but I'm not religious in any sense. I'm agnostic. It's a problem. Bipolar/Depression is not an easy disease. Some days i feel like nothing in my life will be going right so whats the point of even being here. It's not something i enjoy having nor is it something that i pretend to have. I have it. I have to deal with it. And when i get my medications i feel like i will be a little more situated. At least with that. I also have my twitches/weird seizure things that nobody has been able to even figure out about. And the fact that i was recently diagnosed with General Anxiety Disorder. I mean, really, what else can go wrong with me? And every time i freak out on him he still just makes me laugh regardless. I can't help but smile and laugh around him. What more could i ask for in a man? Just thinking about him I'm laughing. I don't know if that's odd but i love it.

The Dress

Since before i started planning this wedding i knew what i wanted. I always have. Something simple and relaxed. Nothing fancy or over the top. As long as at the end of the day i am married to my best friend and the man i love that is all that matters to me. I've been looking for that dress. You know what i mean. That one perfect dress that when you walk down the aisle your soon to be mr will be blown away by. Even though i want it to be simple doesnt mean i want to lose the effect. I've always been a simple kind of girl. I don't like things over the top. I like jeans and t-shirts. I'm not big on heels.

The simplicity of this dress with the open back is just beautiful to me. It has just the right amount of sparkle. This will be the dress i will be walking down the aisle in. I can say that Rob who is my fiance won't be reading my blog cause he doesn't know my url..lol. I love him though.

Until Next Time Ladies

Denise Nicole