I feel.....

Recently I've been feeling nothing. At all. Nothing makes me happy, nothing makes me smile like it used to. Not even makeup and for me that's surprising. I just feel like my whole world is falling apart and I dont really know how to fix it right about now. I wish I knew how to make myself better sigh

And where am i now??

Sometimes you have to sit back and just wonder about everything. At the ripe old age of 22 im engaged to be married but out of my life I want so much more. I have no job, no money and I still live at home with my mother. And although I should be happy that I have a family that loves me, a fiance who adores me and an extended family that's happy to welcome me in as there own I can't help but think I've failed so many times in my life already what makes me think this time wont be any different. So many people my age are graduating from college with a degree in the field that they love and I still haven't exactly figured anything out. I was excited to work in the criminal justice field but after seeing the casey anthony trial and her being set free I lost all faith. And although I realize that she was found not guilty by 12 of her "Peers" it does not make me feel so good about the justice system so for the time being I've strayed away from that path. I'm confused. So confused. But I guess I will never really know what I want to do until I actually start doing something. Sigh. This is my life.